Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
