Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
