i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
