this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
