So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
