well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
