someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
