I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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