I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize