she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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