were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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