The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
