I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
FUCK WHALES
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