i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
