There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
