so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
