my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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