dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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