you told grandpa to call you daddy
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
