And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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