Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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