how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
