hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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