I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
