every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
