It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
