): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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