apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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