Ambien. No doubt about it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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