I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
