why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
