Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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