Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
