That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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