bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
