He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
