And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
