24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
