His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
