Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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