I smell stomach acid.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
