im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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