Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I understand Curling. That high.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
