I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
