Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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