Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize