when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
