Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
