I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
