People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
