I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
