I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize