it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
