let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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