apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
