Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
