real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
