So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
