eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ok first of all what the fuck
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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