you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
